Can't live with them, can't bury them under the patio.
The harder you try, the more you can fail, says Trevor Field
While there may be plenty of advice out there about not trying too hard when it comes to trying to romance a member of the fairer sex, nobody ever seems to speak out in favour of the ideal course of action: not trying at all.
Now I don't mean you should forego a pre-date shower or pick a girl up from her place in a football shirt and sweatpants but rather the bigger and more elaborate the plans are that you make, the more likely it is for things to go wrong and for the night to end in disappointment.
The stuffy atmosphere and high prices mean that anything less than a perfect meal with fawning service all night long will more than likely lead to a feeling of anti-climax being shared between the pair of you.
Much better I feel to make no real plans concerning the night's dining but instead to play it by ear.
Before I saw the light I once booked a table for two in one of the best restaurants in the area, keen to impress.
The trouble was, the world and his wife also had the same idea that night, meaning we were crowded into a corner on a table the size of a postage stamp with virtually no elbow room where we were roundly ignored by the over-worked staff all night long.
Given I had made a reservation – and this was one of those places where they charged a cancellation fee – we could not back out even though we knew what we were in for as soon as we stepped through the door.
And while the food was indeed top-class and the wine was probably the best I have ever had, the night nevertheless seemed like a disappointment simply because we had both set so much stock in it.
My chances with this girl – who I never took out again – would have been far better had I simply picked her up with no idea where we were going to head to and instead took her out into the night with high hopes but no expectations.
After all, aren't women always ranking a sense of spontaneity as one of the things they most look for in a man?
While we all know the whole 'sense of humour' thing is a con, why not take them at their word and save yourself the possibility of forking out a load of money for a night of disappointment.
